That deaf, dumb, and blind phone sure makes a mean paper weight...

My phone can receive calls and that is it. It is a vegetable. Or maybe it is like a Delphic oracle, only speaking to me when there is a message, mute any other time. Either way, I must now find a replacement, as I have become too used to having a mobile phone (damn this drug that saps the resolve of the Luddite!). Maybe I should opt for one of those eighties Miami Vice-type gray things that are huge and really make a statement.