Remember this?

This is still, apparently, the craziest thing to happen in the TA office since we all left...

The Veeb's first and only comments on the election showdown - a simple message to all the candidates...

Dear candidates, Democrat and Republican,

It is only January and the Sunday morning quarterbacking has already begun concerning who is going to win the nominations and who is going to win the election. Through all the discussions and debates and stumping, it is clear that the American people have decided that change and hope are more important virtues in their candidates than experience and managerial panache. The Veeb's editors have but one thing to say, paraphrasing the late, great Pat Paulson:

We've upped our standards,
so up yours!

(This has been the first and only political opinion segment of the Variegated Brainstem, copyright 2008)

Some ruminations about the GSHA's former watering hole...

Lately, Chuck and I have been engaged in the pursuit of our comprehensive exams and have not been to the Bean for a while. We decided, after his completion of his Group Two exam, to go there and hang out for a while. Much has changed. Smoking is no longer allowed in the building. All the televisions are high-def flat screens - there's even one facing the outside through the window so the people on the porch can watch sports. The bathroom is devoid of much graffiti, beyond some of the cogent observations that I have placed on the wall. The food is EXACTLY the same. They no longer have Pabst's Blue Ribbon on tap. Most of the servers and bartenders are new and have no idea that we have a long history there.

Perhaps it is wistfulness that makes me write this. It is hard to go somewhere after spending so many evenings there with friends to not be somewhat nostalgic over the whole affair. At the same time, our recent visit merely confirmed what I had felt all along when we went there: I don't like Cool Beans! I never did! I just thought the atmosphere was too sports bar and too frat and too Bacardi Girls and body shots and "Dude!" Not that I am above that, but I had always envisioned the Long Branch as a more suitable historian hangout. To be sure, the Branch didn't have food, pitchers, semi-clean bathrooms, or Bacardi Girls.

I know, as the good book says in 1 Corinthians, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." I realize that all of this is about as important as whether Kroger's runs out of Chex mix when compared to issues such as world hunger, peace, and war. This blog entry has no real denouement other than to say that, now that I am in the twilight of my grad school career, I miss having a large group of historian friends there to share it with.

The day after comps...

Know what I mean?

A Tribute to a lost companion...

To my other, now kidnapped, Christmas goose cup, I offer this:

Second Poem

Thank god I have an innocent eye for nature.

I was born to remember a song about love - on a hill a butterfly

makes a cup that I drink from, walking over a bridge of

flowers.

- Peter Orlovsky


You will be missed. But, it's better to burn out than it is to rust...

Happy Guy Fawkes Day! Why didn't the GSHA ever celebrate this?

"A desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy!" Enjoy!

Fist in the air for All Your Base Are Belong to Us and the GSHA!

To my brothers and sisters, I just wanted to say that while you're out there smashing the state, don't forget to keep a smile on your lips and a song in your heart! Enjoy!

Some of my new favorite mu-suck-ial groups - part one

Every one should follow their muse and do the things that make them happy (within reason - zoosadism and pedophilia don't count). I have yet to find my overriding passion, but these folks seem to have found their's, although perhaps in ways that make the rest of us scratch our heads and go "Huh?" or "Do what?"

This first is Leslie and the Lys, the brainchild of Leslie Hall, a gold lame beehive-hairdoed lady from Iowa who envisions herself as a rap / hip-hop genius (who's to say she isn't?). Here she presents what is probably the only (that I'm aware of) musical pop tribute to the Ron Howard movie Willow:

Watching this makes me repeatedly wonder: why didn't we do stuff like this in the TA office?

I, Icarus, fall headfirst into oblivion...

It was with a heavy heart that I finally realized the extent of my descent from previous glory on the Myspace friend's list of Henry. To be sure, it means nothing concerning our friendship - it is merely a shuffling of bytes and electrons so as to appease his more fragile followers. And yet...MY RANKING ON HIS LIST WAS ALL I HAD TO LIVE FOR IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD! Sure, I shuffled it off with puckish aplomb, because that is what he'd expect of me - to be a good soldier tried and true. But, deep down, I am dead inside. When I discovered my new locale, I raced home tearfully, leaped into bed, assumed the fetal position, and turned the electric blanket up to nine (thanks Limelighters). My world fell down...

European Hegemony, World Systems Theory, Order-Legitimacy-Wealth, and all that jazz!

Tuesday marks my Group 3 examination before the tribunal of Liu, Brummett, and Dessel. I am nervous, as this is the gateway exam to allow me further testing down the road. I have heard horror-show recountings of this particular test. I realize that it is only an hour. I realize that they have made it less of a stumbling block than in years past. I also realize that it is only the rest of my life that is at stake here. So, if things turn ugly, I may pull a Cas Walker (man on left in picture) if things head south for me in the conference room.

On a lighter note, I went to see 3:10 to Yuma last weekend, based on the expert recommendations of Mr. Julian Ayrs, and was extremely pleased with the movie. My only problem was that I, being a historian, tried to read a post-Cold War, post-9-11 subtext into the film, mainly because westerns have tended to be a kind of societal indicator of cultural trends throughout 20th / 21st century history. Were the characters meta-figures for varied post-millennial attitudes of American exceptionalism soured? Or had I eaten too much lamb sausage pizza at the Tomato Head before the movie? That's why I miss the GSHA - a group dedicated to over-thinking and over-analyzing the minutiae of things that don't even really matter. Damn, I loved that! By the way, thanks again, Mr. Ayrs, for the movie advice (if he likes Planet of the Apes and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure to boot, I'm sure we'll get along famously!)

"Punk is whatever we make it to be"

D. Boon of the Minutemen - what a guy and what a sentiment! I wholeheartedly agree, as I've long believed that punk represents something beyond safety pinned earlobes, green mohawks, or leather jackets. And I'm not talking about the Sum 41/Green Day/I'm so punk rock because I look and sound the part kinda bands. Punk is an attitude, an F-off to the rest of the world for doing what it is you want to do the way you want to do it. And anybody can do it, if they do it with sincerity and passion. Not to get all philosophical about it, but, dammit, rock is dead so LONG LIVE PUNK!

One of my great regrets is the fact that the GSHA never produced a record. Even a gnarled tape of us banging pans on the rails, strumming badly tuned guitars, and singing angry versions of our favorite tunes to the people in front of the TA office - that would have been in your face and punk, as long as we had been cool enough not to worry that the people walking past might be tossing their Smoky's food at us! Why now, Mike? you may say. Why now that we all have gone on to grander and greater things? Can't a guy be wistful for the past? Now, somebody gimme a beat while I go sing "We've only Just Begun!" a la Iggy and Lou!

THE COOLEST VIDEO - EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What more can be said? Enjoy!

What's the story Wishbone?

What are this country's youth lacking? Is it leadership? Is it innovation? Is it tradition? Well, it's obvious: Wishbone! What better way to introduce the classics to kids than to have a loveable scamp of a dog wiggle his way into your heart with his portrayals of important literary figures? I saw an episode this weekend for the first time in years and thought "The genius of this! We should resurrect Wishbone and use him for the GSHA's nefarious purposes!" Maybe reenacted in the Russian Revolution? Wishbone as Mao? Incorporate him into the Kinderfuhrer concept? "C'mon, Wishbone!"

Enjoy!

A recent trip to the Bean: a hot night on the porch with a tear in my beer....

(seen on the men's room wall at Cool Bean's, Knoxville, TN)

"... In the early days of World War 3, guerillas - mostly children - placed the names of their lost upon this rock. They fought here alone and gave up their lives, so that this nation should not perish from the earth."
(for Henrique)
Lest we forget...

Some musings about GSHA mythology...specifically the Taint fin

My bro-in-law hipped me to this picture, concerning "taints," and it got me to thinking about the image crucial to our beloved organization. I am talking, of course, about the legendary taint fin, first proposed (as I remember) by Danny Coy. He said something to the effect that he would enjoy having a shark-style fin on his taint. This suggestion quickly erupted into a major burst of creative outpourings, with people talking about illuminated taint fins that would show what mood their were in, special pants to accomodate a taint fin, taint fin smacking as a greeting, a theme song ("Tainted Love...smack,smack"), taint fin tatoos to express important images of each individual, ad infinitum. Even the ironing board sported a taint fin on the ouroboros. It was, indeed, a heady time.


Then came the purges and everything went to hell...

I mean, c'mon...couldn't we have done this?

I realize we aren't or weren't Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, but we had the righteous anger necessary for this kinda groove, don't you think? The GSHA would have been more passion than prowess!

More of what we should have been doing in the TA office!

F the filth! They'll be plenty of chicks for these tigers on the road to the Promised Land. This is it! It's really happening! Who needs qualifications? Who cares about Bush and unemployment?! We can do just exactly whatever we want to do! And you know why? Because we're the GSHA! Bachelor boys! Crazy, mad,wild-eyed, big-bottomed anarchists!!

This could have been us in the TA office...

Apophenia.............or not???????

"Questions are a burden to others, answers are a prison for oneself." How true, how true. Having had bad chemicals course through my barely adequate psychic defenses, I see eyes where there are shadows, stares from those in the mall food court, people behind me in my work cubicle, murals in the stucco ceiling patterns, dreams of worm infested feet and leeches on eyeballs. It's alright; it's not so bad.

Or, it wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for a recent letter I received in the mail. The envelope had no name, only my apartment number. Not only that, but it was printed in the same modified Albertus font utilized by all communications within the Village. The postmark from Philadelphia and the Liberty Bell were so obviously means of throwing me a curveball, with allusions of the Founding Fathers and their Masonic influences on all our lives (which could fill an entire blog by itself). Indeed, I was not so easily misled and the envelope, in and of itself, was not enough to get me going.

Opening it, I discovered a printed message that gave me pause and forced me to begin occasionally looking over my shoulder and sniffing anything I ate or drank for the smell of ozone or almonds. I knew that my head contained certain secrets, but I never realized that other parties might be interested in those secrets. But, again, getting this letter was not quite as arresting as I assumed it might be; I have just been treading water and waiting for the axe to fall.

HOWEVER, upon further intensified examination of the letter, the stamp, and the envelope, I discovered the one thing that could chill me to the core.
More on this in a future post...

Orientation has begun! Let the slaughter commence!

Today is June 6 - the 63rd anniversary of D-Day. Ah, who can forget the Dog Patch and its pivotal role in that historic event? Hats off to those who served that day! To those of you of the history set, YES, I realize that Lord Kitchner was in World War I. Just like the poster...

On a lighter note, summer orientation at the Big Orange is in full shwing! It is interesting to see the little incoming freshmen, trying to act as cool as they can so as not to betray their underlying shear terror. Reminds me of the first day of the grad program...except without all the touchy-feely coddling.

To those of my cronies hither and yon, summer is a time that makes me wistful for what was, whatever that was...