Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Why don't they make stuff like this anymore?


I don't understand what makes people think that modern necessitates better. After all, wasn't the old stuff the modern stuff once? Case in point is the new videos that dominate the airwaves of EmpTV, bands filled with the best angst money can buy. Whether or not you are a Rundgren fan, the above video displays more intelligence and interestingness than any of the crap that is out there today. To be sure, that Rundgren video then was probably deemed too ultra-modern and too wacko and too plastic by the people that saw it then. But if we are in the post-modern age, why aren't people making videos like this, in a wry wink-wink to the past and how cool they are in the present? Just a thought...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

A few comments on Knoxville concerts, concert-goers, and encores

Last night, we went to see Lou Reed in concert at the Tennessee Theatre. He sort of stumbled onto the stage and seemed, initially, disoriented. But, his band was great and the whole affair soon gelled into a pretty rocking affair, with a few Velvet Underground songs thrown in for good measure, including a fairly decent rendition of "Sweet Jane." After about seventy minutes, the band left the stage, returning a few minutes later for an encore of "Perfect Day." Then it was over.

One thing that I have noticed, over the years, is that Knoxville concerts often seem like a place to do everything but watch a band. Especially at the Tennessee Theatre. Cell phone calls, chatting with friends, CONSTANTLY getting up to go get beer or liquor. That can be distracting to those that want to watch the band. Especially when this is going on around you, like it was to us last night. A father and son sat behind us and talked through the first half of the concert. Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Lou Reed, he is recognized as one of the forefathers of punk music and, as such, there were several songs that contained walls of feedback and heavy riffing - quite loud and room filling. So, my peturbness, if you will, with this father and son was that their talking was intelligible OVER Lou Reed's band! I finally turned around and told them to please be quiet, which made them sheepishly cower down into their seats. The father apologized after the concert, and I graciously accepted his apology, but c'mon, we didn't pay $50 a ticket to listen to these yahoos talk about the son's flippin' troubles with girls at UT!


Finally, I have a word about encores. I HATE THEM! Why does a band or a performer think that we should have to scream for them to grace us with one more song after they only played the barest minimum of a set to begin with? Not that I am a big fan of his, but John Mellencamp refuses to do encores, believing that a band should come out and give 110% for 3 hours and then leave. I tend to agree with his philosophy. Are these bands and performers that big of ego cases that they want to lord it over us about the fact that we have paid lots of money to see them and THEY control the relationship? It was cool to see Lou Reed and all that, but c'mon, man, throw us a few bones!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Jury duty in Knox County...oh, how fun!

Much to my chagrin, I was placed on noticed earlier in the year that I would be required to serve on criminal court jury duty in the spring. I was hoping to get on the grand jury, as I actually wanted to see how that process worked in Tennessee. Of course, I did not get to do that, and was forced to choose a two week stint in which I would be able to serve on a court jury. Yesterday, I came within a hair of being on a sequestered jury for a first degree murder trial. I suppose I have no difficulties with that potentiality, but it was rather unsettling to be in the jury box looking at the defendant, who was sitting there looking at the jury of his peers. Needless to say, I have realized that lawyers on both sides do not want educated people on the jury, as they seem to be able to use their reason and critical thinking skills to determine which side made the better case, rather than just have a knee-jerk reaction to the whole affair. If I ever (God forbid) have to go before a jury of my peers, I shudder to think of some of the yahoos that might be determining my fate. I still have another week of this, so I will keep you updated - not that anyone reads this bleeding thing anyways...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Social networking sites...and my opinions about them

I recently, after a long hiatus, decided to restart my Facebook page. Maybe it was the heady rush and momentary desire to be part of something that the other graduate students were all doing, even though I am typically not a joiner. Maybe it was the fact that I was lacking a clear sense of community in my life, however tenuous. Maybe it was because I have tired of the MySpace world - not my friends on there, but the interface. Or maybe, most probably, I was avoiding doing actual work on something substantive. Who will know?

One observation that I have, regardless of the social networking site, is that people often seem to be most interested in collecting friends in such a way that seems to preclude any sort of "real" interaction between them beyond posting cute messages, cute surveys, and cute photo comments. Or, conversely, people seem to use these sites to torpedo their enemies with ugly comments and messages in an attempt to get them fired from their jobs, broken up with their loved ones, or in trouble with their friends. I am not accusing anyone that I know of this - this is just my general observation.

However, despite my tirade of sorts here, I will socially network. But, to be honest, I more desire the interaction enjoyed during bull sessions in an office, or laughs over pints at the pub. Call me weird, but that is how I am. Now, if you will excuse me, I must away to Facebook to hunt down and begin my collection of friends forthwith - I'm aiming for 100 by the end of April!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Some comments on rock music, rock musicians, and their adulation

I am unsure of whether or not I like the idea of having a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I just read that Madonna was inducted into the RARHOF, begging the question, "Madonna? Rock and Roll?" I realize that rock music, broadly defined, includes a panoply of artists, everything from Run DMC to Hank Williams. But Madonna? Really? I mean, is "Like a Virgin" rock and roll? I just don't see it.

Indeed, I just don't understand the notion of a rock and roll hall of fame. I thought that rock music was supposed to be about rebellion, danger, and confrontation, things that seem antithetical to an institution that celebrates these artists 25 or more years after they have long ceased being rebellious, dangerous, or confrontational. The people that were true rockers are dead or in a mental institution. Not that I am encouraging hedonism a la Jim Morrison, but didn't these people get into this business for the immediacy of the music at the time they started doing what they did? Doesn't having a Hall of Fame go against this notion?

To be sure, as a historian, I am all about exploring and celebrating the past. But rock and roll's past doesn't seem suited to having a bunch of stuffed shirts decide that Iggy Pop, for example, should be given a black tie ceremony at 200 dollars a plate, with Cuban cigars and brandy, to celebrate how rebellious he was - isn't the music enough of a legacy? Which brings me back to Madonna - what is so great about her? The fact that she was consistently a media whore who so-so sang her songs? That she confronted American sexual mores by walking around naked and kissing women? That she won an Oscar? How is that rock and roll? I don't get it; I don't get it one bit...

Monday, February 25, 2008

UPDATE: Ringling Brothers Circus - a Circus of LIES!

My girlfriend, in her infinite wisdom, read my earlier circus blog and then hipped me to the reality of it all. The painted goats and the bearded worm women from Bavaria - all a dream of my fever-addled mind, apparently. Who knew? But the worst part was the laundry list of animal cruelty charges she read to me. Happy cartoon animals playing cards with the workers this ain't! Elephant beatings, killings, kidnappings, forced performances, clowns on drugs, child pornography with Spanky the Clown, interspecies orgies - the Ringling Bros is runnin' a regular Sodom and Gommorah of entertainment. I am thoroughly appalled, and so will not be going to this or any other circus, unless the animals have signed a waiver and have one of their representatives (maybe one of the monkeys) who will serve as a spokes-animal and tell me that it is okay to come to the show. Of course, if that were to happen, I would probably be too freaked out to go in! Needless to say, shame on the cruel ringmaster and his evil minions for their treatment of the animals and for destroying my dreams! I hope the elephants run amok in the Knoxville civic center - Power to the Pachyderms, baby!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A fun past time for the GSHA music set - fictional band album art

Here is a way to blow some time that I discovered recently on a variety of blogs, such as this one and this one. It is a way to create a fake album cover for a fake band that you make! Follow these instructions and you will waste a ton of time, giggling, sighing, or wishing that these bands existed. If you dream it, they will come to your house and rock!

Your band name comes from a
random Wikipedia article and your album title comes from the last 4 words of the last quote from a random quotation and your album art is the third on this page of random Flickr photos.

Slap it all together and you get something like this:
Martorell - they're a zeitgeisty tour-de-force that combines the post-punk intensity of Joy Division, the dual lyricism of Bernie Taupin and Lou Reed, and the full-on feedback assault of the Jesus and Mary Chain, all nicely piled up together in a sunshine pop and vocal-harmonizing wrapping of the Osmonds. Check them out this spring on tour, if you can. Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Veeb's first and only comments on the election showdown - a simple message to all the candidates...

Dear candidates, Democrat and Republican,

It is only January and the Sunday morning quarterbacking has already begun concerning who is going to win the nominations and who is going to win the election. Through all the discussions and debates and stumping, it is clear that the American people have decided that change and hope are more important virtues in their candidates than experience and managerial panache. The Veeb's editors have but one thing to say, paraphrasing the late, great Pat Paulson:

We've upped our standards,
so up yours!
(This has been the first and only political opinion segment of the Variegated Brainstem, copyright 2008)

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Memorial to Missy: the end of an era - blame the f-ing Nazis and Britney Spears!

My girlfriend, due to her Snidely Whiplash-esque ex-landlord's cluelessness, was forced to find a new house and move all of her belongings within the month of December. Due to the condition of her elderly cat Missy, the feline's euthanasia was deemed the most humane thing to do, especially as a move to a new environment would most assuredly have been traumatic to the cat. So, ever the dutiful boyfriend, I helped with the burial of the remains and fashioned a headstone for her. Hats off to Missy - may you run free and poop and pee to your heart's content!

On a lighter note(!?), I saw that Britney Spears has finally lost it. I am not a Britney watcher, to be sure, but have of late been surprised at the public ungluing of someone that seemed to have it all - money, fame, a deadbeat husband, her own fragrance. The pictures of Britney laughing hysterically in the back of an ambulance, strapped to the gurney and obviously whacked out of her mind on Lord knows what kind of medication, were like watching a man give the thumbs up before jumping out of the airplane without his parachute.

This is not to suggest that Missy the Cat and Britney Spears are comparable in some metaphorical sense. But, if she isn't careful, Britney may be headed for that big kitty litter box in the sky! Only time and lots of Vicadin will tell...

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

First post 'o' the year, and boy am I through with fast food!

I am, despite my righteous anger about fun eateries, lazy when it comes to cooking. So. not wishing to eat oatmeal for breakfast, I decided to go get a cup of coffee and some breakfasty something from McDonald's. Only after scraping my taste buds down with a broken piece of glass was I able to compose myself long enough to write the following letter:

Dear, Mr. McDonald,
I decided, againt my better judgement, to visit one of your establishments for a quick breakfast and coffee before going off to a Jack Russell Terrier swap in Clinton. I am nothing without my morning coffee, but I usually must have something in my stomach to temper the effects of the heady brew's voodoo upon my person. However, as I drove away, screaming at the puppies in the back of my station wagon to quiet their incessant yapping, I chanced to drink some of the swill your corporation purports to present as coffee. I would ask since when are green beans an ingredient in black coffee, as that was the only taste that dominated my palate for several hours after embibing your coffee. I may have been raised in the hills of east Tennessee, far away from the coffee exchanges of Vienna and Seattle, but I most assuredly know that what you gave me in that cup was nothing even remotely related to coffee. Criminey, even the war rationed coffee cut with chicory served during our struggles against the Axis powers tasted better than your vile beverage. I now remember why I don't frequent your establishments - you have food and drink that has such middle range bland and evil tastes that I would be more rewarded by sticking one of my dogs' paws in a hot cup of water to steep and drink for my morning beverage. I hope you are happy - 2008 is now ruined for me.

Sincerely,
Rev. Merle Rickard, Esq.

I hope they got the point! New Year's Resolution One for the Veeb: NO fast food!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

A Video for Boxing Day!

I don't know what prompted me to want to post this video - maybe the want of snow, the anomie and despair, or my inclination to get something for breakfast. This is one of those that I could watch pretty regularly and I don't know why. Featuring my favs the Kids in the Hall, it must be seen to be believed. Enjoy and have a wonderful day!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Some ruminations about the GSHA's former watering hole...


Lately, Chuck and I have been engaged in the pursuit of our comprehensive exams and have not been to the Bean for a while. We decided, after his completion of his Group Two exam, to go there and hang out for a while. Much has changed. Smoking is no longer allowed in the building. All the televisions are high-def flat screens - there's even one facing the outside through the window so the people on the porch can watch sports. The bathroom is devoid of much graffiti, beyond some of the cogent observations that I have placed on the wall. The food is EXACTLY the same. They no longer have Pabst's Blue Ribbon on tap. Most of the servers and bartenders are new and have no idea that we have a long history there.

Perhaps it is wistfulness that makes me write this. It is hard to go somewhere after spending so many evenings there with friends to not be somewhat nostalgic over the whole affair. At the same time, our recent visit merely confirmed what I had felt all along when we went there: I don't like Cool Beans! I never did! I just thought the atmosphere was too sports bar and too frat and too Bacardi Girls and body shots and "Dude!" Not that I am above that, but I had always envisioned the Long Branch as a more suitable historian hangout. To be sure, the Branch didn't have food, pitchers, semi-clean bathrooms, or Bacardi Girls.

I know, as the good book says in 1 Corinthians, "
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things." I realize that all of this is about as important as whether Kroger's runs out of Chex mix when compared to issues such as world hunger, peace, and war. This blog entry has no real denouement other than to say that, now that I am in the twilight of my grad school career, I miss having a large group of historian friends there to share it with.

Monday, November 26, 2007

And, then, the anomie sets in...

Why is it that the passage of these huge landmarks of historical graduate work, such as comps, lead inevitably to a period of black moods? I should be happy, and I suppose, I am, as I passed a monumental hurdle. It's funny. I can look back on a life of achievement, on challenges met, competitors bested, obstacles overcome. I've accomplished more than most men, and without the use of my legs. However, it isn't the ecstatic rush to the head that I had hoped it would be. There are still obstacles to overcome, just as every bum's lot in life is his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs, some chinaman in Korea took them from me but I went out and achieved anyway. So, on to Group Two...

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The day after comps...

Know what I mean?

Saturday, November 17, 2007

I like cartoons, but explain something to me...?

Yes, I realize that I am a grown-ass man. But, I am man enough to state that I enjoy watching cartoons on Saturday morning in my footy pajamas and my bowl of cereal. And one of my favorites is the new Batman cartoon on the CW network, appropriately titled The Batman. It has Batman and Robin AND Batgirl all fighting crime together in Gotham City. My question is, and realize that I am not a misogynist, but why Batgirl? Are we so hung up on girl power and all that to require that Batman and Robin can't just be Batman and Robin? Homoerotic allusions to the B and R team aside, Batman and Robin have always been the team - Batgirl was an ancillary associate of the Dynamic Duo. And, that is okay. It is okay to have guys doing guy things together, without women...isn't it? I'm not suggesting that women can't be crime fighters - look at the success of Murder She Wrote! And to those individuals that want to psychoanalyze the pederastic nature of the Batman and Robin relationship - yes, I've seen the comic strip to the left and know all about the weird and sick theories concerning Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. Do all single male authority figures, such as Batman, scoutmasters, Big Brothers, have to be child molesters? Is that the only reason to have Batgirl on the cartoon, as a kind of chaperone so that Batman isn't going to take Robin into a dark alley and have his way with him? Why wouldn't people assume the reverse, when in the early episodes Robin had not yet been introduced to the cartoon? What kept Batman from gettin' it on with the Batgirl? I'll tell you what - it is because Batman is so consumed with fighting crime and exacting vengeance on the criminal element that ruined his young life by taking his parents away that he is unlikely to be wanting a sexual relationship with a young boy, especially as this could possibly jeopardize his secret identity as Bruce Wayne, playboy millionaire, not Bruce Wayne, millionaire pedophile. So, why do we HAVE to have Batgirl in the cartoon regularly? And, no, I haven't over-analyzed this too much...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

On seeing a wedding reception at TGI Friday's in Pigeon Forge...your funeateries have become tiresome!

The American populace has a multitude of choices daily thrust upon them. We are bombarded with eighteen different brands of toilet paper, thirty different brands of toothpaste, a million different brands of a million different products, each claiming superiority over the other. And not only dry goods; the venues within the marketplace are as varied as our shopping experience itself. Dozens of grocery chains, clothing store chains, bookstore chains, even coffee chains, each with an agenda of pursuing the consumer for their exclusive business. I regret that this has happened.

We have allowed the international conglomerates to control our buying decisions. We see choice and the “freedom” it imparts as a good thing, something that industry and big business want us to continue to accept as true. We think nothing of going to the big, national lumber store instead of Uncle Fred’s hardware that we patronized for years, all because the price is cheaper. And yet, is the quality of a proportionate level to cause us to disregard this factor in our buying? Would we rather deal with a minimum wage teenager, with no investment in their job, or would we rather deal with Uncle Fred, who owns his store and is dependent on our business for his livelihood, who can tell us where the locking washers are, what size threaded elbow we’d need, or that we shouldn’t spend our money on that particular saw blade since this one is cheaper but of equal quality for the job we’re doing? Is our demand for choice worth the lack of communication and service that tends to accompany it?

The evolution of the community watering hole and restaurant is an excellent example of this. Gone are the days when an eatery of local and historical value that serves good, homemade food can compete with the chain restaurants. I lament the day that the fast-food diners supplanted the local Mom and Pop café. It is more expensive, for sure, but Mom and Pop make each meal to order, make you want to return, give you a relaxed atmosphere, refill your tea, learn your name as you frequent their business, remember your likes and dislikes, wave to you on the street or at the store, ask about your family. Will the girl at the counter at Dairy Queen treat you in the same manner? More than likely, no.

Most repugnant to me are the so-called “fun-eateries”, the restaurants that seek to offer a lively, party-filled atmosphere, where sports are on televisions throughout, the piped-in music is the latest popular offerings, the food much the same from one to the other. Each tries to create a mood of relaxation, with pop icons, motorcycle memorabilia, football jerseys, license plates fixed to the walls, a very transparent attempt to tap into the American collective consciousness. Each offers a large draft beer in an interestingly shaped mug, each with a unique and masculine name, such as the “Brewtus”, or the “Bulldog”. Nacho appetizers abound. Food straight from the grill on small frying pans, the waitress always stating, “Be careful, honey. This plate is really hot!”, the sound of sizzling entrées melding with sports scores and hurrahs from the fans in the restaurant. Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?

I used to live in a town where this trend was visibly apparent at a place called Applebee’s. Some friends and acquaintances frequented this establishment almost nightly, knowing each item on the menu as if it were scripture, thinking that watered down beer and cutesy drinks such as the ‘Red Headed Slut’ and the ‘Bahama Mama’ were the epitome of excitement. I will grant you, that at the time there was really no other place for a young man or woman to go on a Friday night in town; this, I suppose, I can now accept. However, I am saddened that the only spot in town was a restaurant chain, with the same layout as the Applebee’s in the next town, with no apparent individualistic essence, no uniqueness specific to where we lived.

This is the ‘Wal-Martization’ or the ‘McDonaldization’ of America; we have choices, and yet we are not allowed to choose the choices offered to us. How are local restaurants to compete, when they lack a corporate juggernaut behind them? Every Applebee’s, every Benigann’s, every Chili’s, every T.G.I. Friday’s, every freakin' ‘fun-eatery’ - what makes them any different from any other one of these establishments? All the food is the same, maybe not in taste, but in character, since each serving is precisely measured and accounted for. Each restaurant is laid out the same, with the bar in the middle, the focal point of the lively activity that is offered to the consumer. Regardless of the intricacies of the bartender’s skill or their engaging personality, each bar is limited to the libations that the corporate office allows, since market research is their primary tool for determining the most popular brands of drink and food. The uniforms of the wait staff are usually the same, with golf shirts and name tags and little aprons. Other than the accent of the majority of the people in the restaurant, what is there, in these places, to distinguish them from any other restaurant of the same chain in another part of the country? Or in the world, for that matter?

I must pause here, and explain my distress. I understand that each restaurant has its unique character, even within the tightly bound dictates of a large chain. The people that work there and the people that come to the restaurant both help to create this individuality. However, what I cannot abide is the fact that individualism is confined within strict guidelines, determined by careful market study and surveys. We are allowed to get crazy and mix it up, but only as long as our frivolity conforms to the corporate plan. I am not suggesting that another restaurant, unburdened by the company millstone, would necessarily present an atmosphere ripe for unhindered creativity and expression; hell, I’ve been to some local hash houses that made me long for a Shoney’s.

Why now, Mike? You don't go to these places and you don't have the money to go to them regularly even if you did want to go to them? Well, why not? When you are served hyper-sugarified iced tea on an empty stomach in the middle of the afternoon at a TGI Friday's in the middle of Pigeon Forge, you tend to think about these things. Long live neo-luddism and the revisionist critiques of gendered subaltern agency in historical tropes of post-modern discourse!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Historiography might be important to a historian, but that doesn't mean I have to like home decorating shows!

Does historiography really matter to anyone besides us? I mean, c'mon, who on the street is really going to be concerned with how the various schools of American historical thought argued about the issue of reform during the Jacksonian period?

And, while I am ranting, who really cares for this guy with the 5 day beard on Oprah that redecorates houses? Nate - I believe his name is. He's probably a nice enough guy, but I just want to kick his teeth in sometimes, along with every other redecorating ya-hoo on the TV. They make things look more cluttered, less c
omfortable, and all about filling a room with the latest reproduction crap from Pottery Barn! Is Oprah telling us that conspicuous consumption is a necessary facet of being a self-actualized human being? Isn't that what was being suggested during the Progressive Era with the notion of a "therapeutic ethos" driven by consumer spending? (see what I did there - I brought my rant back to history and historical topics...like you really care, you trading spaces tools!)

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Who knew? Did you?

I am always up for learning new and interesting things, especially as I am trying to study for comps. Why would I need all the room in my brain for just history? There are all sorts of things out there for me to discover, and it makes a fellow kinda squishy inside to think that they might learn something new, each and every day.
That said, I was surprised and dismayed that there were people on this earth who engage in the activity of rabbit show jumping. Competitively. Much like the equestrian version, rabbit show jumping involves a trainer (not a jockey) going around to various stations with various sized hurdles and encouraging the rabbit to jump over them. That's it! Is that f%cked, or what?

I don't know why, but this makes me laugh hysterically at the same time the anger swells within. To be sure, why should I care? I mean, rabbits are jumping animals. It's not like they are trying to make them swim or wear little Star Trek themed outfits. They're just making them jump, competitively. Nothing wrong in that, I suppose, but I smell a future doping scandal in the works. And, I guess, therein lies the problem for me, because something so innocent and pure and silly as rabbit jumping will likely decay into a celebrity driven festival of emptiness that will make us all want to eat Drano and get it over with, and that makes me angry. I don't understand where it comes from, but it feels like the same kind of anger that I experience when I think about the new WB show, Gossip Girl, which the mere sight of the commercials drives me into an insane rage little seen in this hemisphere. How many f%cking more television shows do we need about rich, vacuous white kids with too much money, too little sense, and the sex drives of speed-addicted howler monkeys? I HATE THESE SHOWS! And the next thing you know, on a very special episode of Gossip Girl, we will be introduced to the dark back-alley side of competitive rabbit show jumping! Jesus, please come back to us real soon! We need you!

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Fist in the air for All Your Base Are Belong to Us and the GSHA!

To my brothers and sisters, I just wanted to say that while you're out there smashing the state, don't forget to keep a smile on your lips and a song in your heart! Enjoy!

Monday, October 8, 2007

My eye twitch is driving me CRAZY!

Since a few days before my group three examination, my left eye has been twitching about every twenty minutes. It is making me insane, even more than I normally am. I have looked online about cures, but there are none, save for going the Six Million Dollar Man route, and having the offending eye replaced. It would be cool to be able to have telescopic vision, but I don't have that kind of bread with which to purchase such a replacement part. It probably means that I have a week to live. If that is the case, I'm going to get some cheese cake, a New Yorker Deli (in Roanoke, Virginia) submarine sandwich, a Bahia cigar, a bottle of scotch, and an XBOX 360 with which to play Halo 3. I'll let you know what happens...