Glitter and Doom is coming to Knoxville and I can't waits...

Nice 'n' Moogy! Part Two

If you liked the last stuff with the keyboards, you'll love this! Or, perhaps, not. Long before Devo did their devo thing, there was Kraftwerk. In some ways, I suppose they could be seen as a Teutonic Devo, although, it is more probably that Devo is an American Kraftwerk. With their hypnotic music, lyrical discussions of robots in German, and snappy makeup and outfits, it makes me want to get a really skinny tie, shave my beard, slick back my hair, and move in a jerky manner. Isn't that cool? Seventies Germany rocks - so unemotional and mannequin-esque. Just like me!

Enjoy!

A word on makeup for men...

Gee, I wish I were in a situation that I could wear makeup everyday. Not like being a drag queen, but makeup like that of rock stars in the seventies. Just think about it - coming to get my next advisee in the Advising Office with King Diamond-esque makeup on. I would want to be advised by me! That is one of my complaints about history - no theatricality! We need makeup, otherworldliness, to get our message to the people! Like Bowie said in "Diamond Dogs," "This ain't rock and roll...this is GENOCIDE!" I need to cut back on the caffeine, I think...

Jury Duty update

Despite my earlier rejection, I was picked today to be on another jury for a case involving murder and kidnapping. It has been interesting, as I have already heard testimony for the prosecution's case, as well as the defense rebuttals to this information. I'm not at liberty to talk about the particulars, but the actual experience with the jury has been enlightening. I am taking copious notes (thanks to history training), but as we all know, the presentation of reality and its construction through divergent sources can be a challenging enterprise. Both sides seem to believe it will be over by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. By the way, they feed us at Calhoun's on the river - that seemed very surreal to me...

Of all the things to see when you are sick...

Those of you that know me know of my like for the Flaming Lips. I have seen them in concert, which were some of the most amazing musical experiences I've ever had. I have nearly all of their recorded output, which seems to have been getting better year after year. I have been praising them for quite some time, with good reason.

But, their latest album was not so great, mainly as it seemed to be a retread of many of the ideas from the album before. And, very peculiarly, I have been noticing the Lips' music accompanying different commercials. A lot of them. As I lay on my sofa, troubling deaf heaven with my bootless cries and cursing my intestinal fate, I saw a commercial for Kraft Salad Dressing that had Flaming Lips' music as its soundtrack. I thought it was a fever dream. But, I saw it again today and am saddened.

I realize that their music is their's to do with as they wish. If they want to shill for salad dressing, then they should should shill for salad dressing - I would rather hear them than yet another commercial with Katrina and the Waves "I'm Walking on Sunshine," after all. But, there is just something disconcerting about how music so quickly departs from being sublime to being subservient to the capitalist juggernaut. I'm still going to listen to the Flaming Lips, to be sure, but this whole episode has given me pause. What is next? The Sex Pistols' "Pretty Vacant" used for a Tampax commercial?

I want to go to the circus...and I am not afraid of clowns!

This next month, the circus is coming to Knoxville! And I want to go! My girlfriend is less than enthused about this, as she is not really into all the animals being made to dance and work and balance on tight ropes - she believes that the circus is cruel to these helpless creatures. But the way I look at it, these animals surely knew what they were getting into when they ran away and joined the circus! And who could blame them, cuz it's so freaking cool!

Plus, the circus has all them freaks that solve crimes and stuff! So, I say, let's go to the circus, eat some corn dogs, and dance around with the painted goats and the bearded worm women from Bavaria! I can't wait - hope I get to do it! My only fear is that I might stowaway on the train with them as they leave town and help the clowns and acrobats and freaks as they travel throughout America, restoring faith in the world each night I am with them by selflessly setting myself on fire and jumping off 5-story platforms into a vat of rabid eel-monkeys dressed in pirate suits. I would do that for you, because I'm a giver...

Why can't they make movies like this anymore?

Seriously, will someone tell me why they don't make movies like this anymore? I realize that the 1970s amped up the excess in rock music to the point that punk HAD to happen, but this movie celebrates the theme of excess to such an excessive level that it seems almost comfortingly, orgiastically cathartic. Maybe the GSHA band could perform inside a building that's being imploded!

By the way, I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE! THE TRAILER ALONE MADE ME CRAZY! WHAT A NAME FOR A MOVIE! Enjoy!

Spam Cookoff Update

The first annual Spam Cookoff for the Arts and Sciences College has come and gone. While I was unsuccessful in attaining an award for my Spam Vindaloo (which is actually better with age, we discovered today), all of the recipes were quite good, despite all the preconceived notions of how Spam tastes. Chuck, incidentally, refused to participate and didn't even come in to sample the dishes, earning himself the coveted "Spam Punk" award in the Spammies. Travis Hardy, using the American Southwest as his inspiration, created a spicy Spam Hash that was quite yummy. The winner of the best in show Spammy was Megan Harris with her interesting Spam Cornbread casserole that was the hit of the event. Now that the buzz has died down and the Spam put away, we have decided to try something different for next month - maybe Ramon noodles or Cheese Whiz!

Variegated Brainstem - Year Two, Day One, Hour Ten!

What a day it is today! The birds are singing, the squirrels are considering the current economic situation. Mothers pause to look lovingly into the faces of their babies, and former enemies throw down their machetes and axes to finally embrace in peace. We here at the Veeb are buoyed by the spirit of this day, and anxious about the dual goals of this Friday: celebrating our blog's anniversary and taking our Spam Vindaloo to the Arts and Sciences' Spam Cookoff. Although our initial excitement about our recipe was shared by all, last night's blind taste test revealed that among the things that the good Lord never intended was for Spam to be marinaded - Spam's density as a meat prevents its ready access to marinading forces. As a result, we are not so sure about our dish's success. Even served in one of television art teacher Dan Mihuta's clay bowl creations will probably not help...

But, in addition to the cookin', there is the rockin'!

Today is the first day of the rest of the fiscal blogging year that is the Variegated Brainstem!

Today is the day that one year ago the future of the world was set into motion!

Today is the day that one year ago a iron gauntlet was hurled into the face of humanity!

Today is the day that one year ago people began to realize again that MUSIC IS REVOLUTION!

Today is the day that one year ago a humble graduate student with nothing better to do took considerable time from his studies to bore the world with his acid casualty observations!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is our extreme pleasure to welcome you to:

VARIEGATED BRAINSTEM, YEAR TWO: THE RECKONING
Enjoy!

A remembrance of things past

For some reason, I was thinking about traveling recently, especially those travels back in my youth. My sister, who shares my whacked sense of humor for things a bit askew, used to listen with me to tapes on our Realistic tape recorder on many family trips throughout this great land of ours. We would be in the back of the station wagon with the seat down, un-seatbelted of course, drawing on old computer print-out paper from my dad's office and reading comic books and playing Simon and Merlin and card games, all the while listening to Bible stories narrated by Burl Ives and various other tapes my parents had to make us tolerable during the trip. I don't know if she remembers, but we used to giggle and giggle in evil glee at some of the songs on a compilation tape of oldies that my parents had. There was "Que Sera Sera" sung by Doris Day. Mitch Miller did "The Yellow Rose of Texas." But, the one that really got us cackling was "Hey, There (You with the stars in your eyes)," sung by Rosemary Clooney, George's aunt. The way it was recorded, she would sing the chorus (Hey there, you with the stars in your eyes...) in one channel and then speak a reply in the other channel (Are you talking to me?). This was too funny for the both of us, and we would laugh and laugh and laugh and hyperventilate and laugh and laugh and eat some Trix cereal and laugh and laugh and rewind the tape and listen to this again and again and laugh and laugh and laugh until we were at the beach or West Virginia or wherever we were going. This video I have posted is probably from a Karaoke machine, so it has no pictures. However, I think that you will agree, as my sister and I believed and still believe, that this remains either very funny or very disturbing. Maybe even both! My sister has since gone on to be an amazing mother of four (I am her oldest) and I hope that she will one day pass this song on to her other kids as some sort of legacy that will either slightly scar their psyches or make them continue to enjoy drawing pictures of purple dogs and orange trees.

Enjoy!

1970s Soft Rock - why the mundane can be frightening...

Having recently admitted my love and secret shame of MOR seventies soft rock, I have been, as I often do, hyper-looking at and listening to videos and songs of this genre. I must be OCD when it comes to music, because I get fixated on something like "sunshine pop" and then, for 3 or 4 weeks, can do nothing but download and listen to this type of music. And, as before, my new obsession has become seventies soft rock, and I have been sucking this stuff down like an opium addict. HOWEVER, this video by the band Exile has kinda creeped and freaked me out.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the disembodied lips on the wall and on the floor. Maybe it's the lead singer's rough androgyny that makes him/her look like a man, then a woman, then a man in such a way that makes me wonder if he is a demonic entity - the dance gyrations don't help. Maybe it is the singluar theme of the lyrics, which proclaim that the only focus of the protagonist will be to get his baby and kiss her all over, all over, all over, again and again - not that I am against kissing or kissing all over, for that matter, but the band's singleminded focus on this particular activity make me wonder if there might be tentacles and spinal fluid sucking involved. Maybe it is the fact that the band is, in my opinion, WAY to into their music, as if they are heralding a new age of utopian revolution or that their music rocks in a similar way as, say, the Ramones. Maybe I'm just overanalyzing it, but you have to admit that they don't make bands like this anymore, which might be a good or a bad thing depending on how you look at it. Either way, enjoy!

Victory!

ABD, repeat after me, sing "Nah Nah Nah Nah!"

Dance the dance of the space goddess ritual! Neuron-eating music and videos for your perusal!

People like to suggest, sometimes, that I am some sort of acid burnt wacko, a persona that I, sometimes, encourage perhaps. However, if youtube had been around when I was doing chemical alterations to my psyche, THIS kind of video would have made me a prime candidate for a rubber room and arm and leg restraints. Hell, it's freaky enough WITHOUT drugs; I couldn't imagine watching this already out of my mind! Of course, I have watched it repeatedly today!

You know me - I like all sorts music, high brow and low brow. But this video just makes my bowels and nads hurt with an unimaginable horror - no wonder punk music needed to happen and happened when it did! "But, wait," you might say, "I thought you liked bands like the Osmonds!?! Aren't they similar?" I won't quibble on that point - both bands are somewhat of the same ilk. HOWEVER, the Osmonds were musical geniuses, a Mormon Beatles, if you will. They mined the depths and heights of our emotions and imaginations, making this world a better, kinder, and stronger place. They played their instruments AND danced AND sang AND smiled AND all the while searched for ways to end world hunger, fight Communist Aggression, and pursue the race to land a man-made vehicle on Mars. The band in this video, on the other hand, was so obviously only in it for the money - how else do you explain someone voluntarily playing this kind of garbage and doing so in public on television? For the joy of the music and the ability to entertain? HELL NO! Money, pure and simple, is the source of this horse manure! So, go tell "the Man" to honk on bubba for foisting crap like this onto us! Enjoy!

A fun past time for the GSHA music set - fictional band album art

Here is a way to blow some time that I discovered recently on a variety of blogs, such as this one and this one. It is a way to create a fake album cover for a fake band that you make! Follow these instructions and you will waste a ton of time, giggling, sighing, or wishing that these bands existed. If you dream it, they will come to your house and rock!

Your band name comes from a random Wikipedia article and your album title comes from the last 4 words of the last quote from a random quotation and your album art is the third on this page of random Flickr photos.

Slap it all together and you get something like this:

Martorell - they're a zeitgeisty tour-de-force that combines the post-punk intensity of Joy Division, the dual lyricism of Bernie Taupin and Lou Reed, and the full-on feedback assault of the Jesus and Mary Chain, all nicely piled up together in a sunshine pop and vocal-harmonizing wrapping of the Osmonds. Check them out this spring on tour, if you can. Enjoy!

Vote on T-shirt Designs

Well, true believers, here are the finalists for Variegated Brainstem's t-shirt design. We have been searching and crafting and pondering what a t-shirt design should mean for us. We still don't really know, but these are some of the proposed designs:

Feedback? Enjoy!

A crooner for the ages - who will be our pick?

Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band, as many of you know, is one of our favorites here at the Veeb. The Captain has a 5 octave vocal range and a penchant for screaming, grunting, and growling his way through electrified blues and into your heart, head, and mind. We provide for you (above) a selection from his first LP, Safe As Milk, entitled "Electricity!"

Unlike the Captain and his friends, Scott Walker started as a crooning pop singer with a group called the Walker Brothers, a popular band during the 1960s British Invasion. After going solo, Scott Walker began to sing increasingly darker and disturbing songs about prostitutes, homosexuals, communist dictators, and torture interagators, ultimately producing albums of high-pitched falsetto singing about urban decay and despair over top the sounds of orchestras, industrial noises, and metallic destruction. This video gives an example of the first type of music Scott Walker was involved with:

On a side note, I had a weird dream last night that I thought was interesting: a panther was running around my backyard, scaring black cats that were running away and jumping up in the air - which made me laugh out loud. An Eskimo ran in with a pine tree branch and wounded the panther in the side. I screamed "No, no, Nanook!" As he lay dying, the panther looked up at me and simply asked," Why?" What does this mean?

Are you ready to shake your booty? European dance vids from the 1970s are what you need!

This is one of the greatest videos ever put on the internet. Can you feel it? The hypnotic beats of the band make you fall down in disco-inspired seizures.

In case the first video didn't get your toes a-tappin' and your legs a-twitching, here is a video of the great German Krautrock band Can, performing their hit "Paperhouse." If ever you wished that you could find a German band that had a Japanese singer who sang in English, all the while convulsing on stage with his jazz-rock posse high on mushrooms and schnapps, then this one is for you! Enjoy!

A Video for Boxing Day!

I don't know what prompted me to want to post this video - maybe the want of snow, the anomie and despair, or my inclination to get something for breakfast. This is one of those that I could watch pretty regularly and I don't know why. Featuring my favs the Kids in the Hall, it must be seen to be believed. Enjoy and have a wonderful day!

My nose hurts and my eye has started twitching again! Bah-humbug!

I can't get into the spirit of the season. My sickness, my impending Group Two exam, my lack of anything exciting to give to anyone for Christmas, our death culture of plasticity - all these conspire to make me a melancholy Dane. What's a man to do? Ho freaking ho!

Historiography might be important to a historian, but that doesn't mean I have to like home decorating shows!

Does historiography really matter to anyone besides us? I mean, c'mon, who on the street is really going to be concerned with how the various schools of American historical thought argued about the issue of reform during the Jacksonian period?

And, while I am ranting, who really cares for this guy with the 5 day beard on Oprah that redecorates houses? Nate - I believe his name is. He's probably a nice enough guy, but I just want to kick his teeth in sometimes, along with every other redecorating ya-hoo on the TV. They make things look more cluttered, less comfortable, and all about filling a room with the latest reproduction crap from Pottery Barn! Is Oprah telling us that conspicuous consumption is a necessary facet of being a self-actualized human being? Isn't that what was being suggested during the Progressive Era with the notion of a "therapeutic ethos" driven by consumer spending? (see what I did there - I brought my rant back to history and historical topics...like you really care, you trading spaces tools!)