New Phone - Decision 2007 update

After looking on ebay, I have decided to go for another RAZR phone, although instead of the V3xx I have opted for the V3. I flew too close to the sun one time; I just don't know if I have it in me to do it again. More on this as I know more...

My next phone - a major decision in my life...

I have about decided that I will be purchasing a new phone soon and very soon. I have also about decided that I will need to get one that is either (a) waterproof, (b) floats, or (c) knows how to swim. As these are not typically cell phone options, I have decided that I need to get one that is easily recognizable and would, therefore, be easily noticed were it not in my pocket and sinking to the bottom of, say, a toliet.

Ergo, the phone that I am envisioning for myself is a Hello Kitty phone. I'm not a fan, nor do I have any real understanding of the Hello Kitty ethos. On the flip side, I'm not afeared of what people will think of me with such a phone. I just need a bright pink phone that will be easily recognized in the john. Likewise, the added weight of having a Hello Kitty phone sinking to the bottom of a port-a-john will make me more inclined to safeguard my phone in a more secure pocket. But not because I would be embarassed by Hello Kitty. The way I see it, if I have one, more people will automatically want to get one of their own, mainly because I am so hip and with it.

The passing of a new but dear, dear friend of mine

Last night, after one last gasp, my phone finally gave up the ghost. No on, no off; the poor thing could not rise up with me this morning and greet the day. As I cradled him in my arms one last time, a single tear made its course down my cheek, and I was reminded of the brief but intense relationship we shared over the past few months. Although initally hostile to the idea of a phone, he won over my heart with his impish sense of humor, his roguish good looks, and his ability to remind me of upcoming events that I had long forgotten. He was with me during some important milestones in my life. He witnessed my first haircut in 17 years. He supported me and celebrated with me my successful passing of my Spanish language exam for my PhD. And, like a candle in the wind, he was snuffed out in the prime of life during a plumping operation turned deadly.

As I set him on his funeral pyre and reverently hold the torch that will momentarily send him to his glory in Vahalla, I am struck by the fact that Luddism can so quickly be overcome with technology, especially technology that connects you with other people. On a lighter note, the Razr will be long remembered in my heart, as I plan on getting a Hello Kitty version to ease my pain at the loss of such a short but intense friendship...

That deaf, dumb, and blind phone sure makes a mean paper weight...

My phone can receive calls and that is it. It is a vegetable. Or maybe it is like a Delphic oracle, only speaking to me when there is a message, mute any other time. Either way, I must now find a replacement, as I have become too used to having a mobile phone (damn this drug that saps the resolve of the Luddite!). Maybe I should opt for one of those eighties Miami Vice-type gray things that are huge and really make a statement.

An important service announcement concerning cell phones

I have learned an important lesson with regards to the amount of punishment that a Motorola Razr phone can endure. I was fixing the guts in my toliet the other day and, one thing leading to another, my phone plopped into the toliet. I was not even totally aware that it had happened and glanced down after hearing the sploosh sound. Panic and fear followed, and I screamed out a string of profanity that probably woke the dead in the next county. I reached quickly into the toliet (it was clean but filled with 2000 Flushes Blue which stained my hands) and tried to grab the phone. However, I couldn't immediately get it out, as the phone keep going further and further into the poop shoot (don't know the technical term). All told, it was probably submerged for about 20 to 30 seconds. When I pulled it out, it was almost like rescuing a drowning, dying man, because the phone briefly flashed a last gasp message of "Check SIM Card" and then died. I was crestfallen.

I have tried to bring my phone back to life, drying and coddling it. There were some brief glimmers of life earlier, but there seems to have been a major setback in the night. Any suggestions are welcome but we may be holding a death watch. These next few hours are critical...